The Supernatural Weight of My Love
by MelodyStarrWH
Summary: Dean and Castiel know that they are in love with each other. But there as they both go trying to save their own worlds will they be able to put aside the impending weight that always seems to be resting on their shoulders to take a little piece of happiness for themselves. This is set in season 6 onward so there may be spoilers.
1. Chapter 1: Heat of the Moment

Chapter 1: Heat of the Moment

Dean sighed in frustration from the nights events so far. He and Sam had been working on a case earlier that day that seemed to be linked to the Staff of Moses. They got as far as they could into the case themselves before calling Castiel. Castiel upon hearing that they may have a lead on another piece of the Staff came at once. However it now appeared to be a false lead which meant they were just dealing with another possession case. What was frustrating about it was Dean couldn't find a way to keep Castiel from going back up to Heaven. It was selfish, he knew, to want to keep Castiel from fighting his war but he couldn't help it. He felt empty when the angel wasn't near him, it made him irritable and hard to be around for Sam. Which was why Sam had insisted they go to a bar. Which led to Dean slumped in a bar stool drinking a beer while Sam was across the room hitting on a woman.

Dean knew Sam was hoping he would find some random woman to take his mind off whatever was making him so unbearable. Dean also knew that it was hopeless. He wanted Castiel and a random woman he picked up in a bar just wouldn't suffice. He sighed again before finally having enough. He sent a quick text to Sam saying he was heading back to the motel room, paid for his beer, and walked quickly to the Impala. It was then that he finally noticed the light brown trench coat laying in the back seat. His heart started thumping harder as he filled with hope that the angel was back for some reason. Upon further inspection of the coat he saw that it was empty and realized that Castiel must have left it earlier. His fist came slamming down onto the top of the Impala as he groaned with frustration. Coming quickly to his senses he apologized to Baby and got in.

As he drove down the dimly lit highway he thought about what was really frustrating him. When was he going to be able to tell Castiel how he had felt for him for three years? For three year Dean had loved him; his goofy smile when he finally understood some human reference, the light that always shined in his bright blue eyes, his undeniable innocence, his determination to stop the injustice of his brothers, and most of all how he was so open with how he was feeling. Dean was so used to keeping his emotions in check, he had been doing it all his life. Never getting attached to anything besides the Impala and Sam, always acting like he was fearless even when he was scared out of his wits, and never allowing himself to completely love someone because in the end he knew he would have to leave them. But Castiel he didn't have the life he did. He didn't have to act fearless and he could afford to not put on a brave face when times were tough. Dean envied that but more so he felt the need to protect the angel from having that vulnerability stripped away. Dean knew he loved the angel, he just didn't know how to tell Castiel that.

He pulled into the parking lot of the motel with a lot on his mind. He parked the Impala in front of the room he and Sam had rented for the derange of the time it took to solve the case. After quick inspiration he grabbed the trench coat he was sure Castiel was missing and hunted down the room key. He found it in the blue depths of his back jean pocket. Unlocking the door he stepped inside hurriedly and shut the door locking it. Then he went to take a shower before continuing with the plan he now had in his head. If he was about to do what he wanted to then he also wanted to be clean and not smell of beer and sweat. His heart was beating erratically fraying his nerves. He hated to admit it to himself but he was nervous, perhaps more nervous than he'd ever been before in his life. None of it mattered though the only thing that mattered was his sudden hair brained scheme to reveal his feelings to Castiel. For the first time in years he was alone for the night, he wasn't completely absorbed in some life or death case, and he was tired of keeping it to himself.

Once his shower was complete he dressed in a fresh pair of clothes, even dabbing on a bit of Sam's cologne. Then he grabbed the trench coat and readied himself mentally for the next part. "Hey Cas get your angelic ass down here. I have something for ya." He called into the darkness. He heard the brief flutter of wings and smiled, Castiel always came when he called.

"Yes Dean what is it?" Castiel said his voice gravely as it raked over Dean's eardrums making him shudder a little before turning towards it. The sight of the angel without his trench coat was really unusual for Dean. Not a bad unusual, without the bulkiness of the coat the firm fit shape of Castiel was more on display. Dean had never been really attracted to a male before, aside from Dr. Sexy of course, but with Cas he didn't hesitate. His tousled ink black hair against his pale skin and bright blue eyes combined with his extreme innocence made Dean's heart flutter and his pants tighten.

"Man you left this filthy piece of crap in the Impala," he joked hoping Castiel knew he was actually rather fond of the trench coat.

"I apologize," Castiel said confused, "I did not realize it was dirty."

"No man it's not really dirty," Dean explained, "well maybe it is a little."

"Why did you say it was filthy?" Castiel asked still confused.

"It was joke."

"Oh," Castiel said still failing to understand the nature of the comment. "Is that why you called me?"

"No, I uh actually had something to tell you," Dean admitted nervously. He had never confessed his love for someone before so he had really no idea how to go about it. Castiel looked at him with his incredible blue eyes causing Dean to almost melt before he could get out his confession. "You know we've known each other for a long time and have been through hell and back, literally," He paused taking a calming breath, "and I feel that I can trust you more than anyone. I feel like you will always be there for me and that no matter what kind of crazy shit I do that you will be there to keep me on the right path." Dean took one more large deep breath before saying what he wanted to say for so long, "I guess what I'm trying to say is I love you Cas."

He waited eagerly for the angel's answer to his unspoken question or just a response in general. He waited for what seemed like forever before Castiel blinked tears out of his bright beautiful blue eyes full of patience and innocence. "Cas are you crying?" Dean asked concerned.

"I have wanted to hear those words," he cried happily, "It makes me very happy." Dean closed the little distance that was between them and took Castiel into arms.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner dumb ass," Dean laughed breathy. He pressed his cheek into the side of Castiel's inky black hair and inhaled the musky sweet scent he had come to associate with his angel. He smiled widely at the thought of it of Castiel being _his_ angel.

"I don't see how insulting me is relevant," Castiel said once again confused by Dean's words.

"I wasn't being serious Cas," Dean laughed again his smile widening. Castiel smiled upon hearing this and happily buried his face into Dean's shoulder.

They stayed like that for an eternity or what seemed like it before Dean finally pulled away. "So what do we do now?" Castiel asked. He was unfamiliar with most human customs leaving him with no idea on what people did after confessing their feelings to one another.

Dean smiled mischievously not saying anything as he placed his hand under Castiel's chin to pull his face closer to his own. He lightly brushed his lips across the angel's marveling in the softness of them. He did it once more letting the tip of his tongue drag across Castiel's bottom lip causing him to gasp in pleasure. He continued to taunt the angel deepening the kiss ever so slightly with each teasing gesture until finally they were moving their mouths in sync fighting for dominance with their tongues. Dean finally won when he bit Cas's bottom lip causing him to moan loudly. Surprised that he had gotten such a response out of Cas he became frantic trying to get it again. His hands greedily roamed over Castiel's toned body. He slid his hand down to Castiel's firm round ass and groped it lightly making Castiel gasp but it wasn't the response he was looking for. He wanted more. He wanted to make his angel scream his name with pleasure as he showed him how much he loved him.

He backed them up until Castiel was wedged firmly between the wall of the room and his own erection. He became slower with his kissing moving his mouth more determinedly against Cas's. He let his hands roam once again but slower lingering in places where Cas's skin was exposed. When he got to his shirt he quickly undid the buttons and pulled it off. He then let his mouth trail ever so slowly down Cas's chin following the line of his jaw down to his neck. He lingered there gently sucking no doubt leaving Castiel with a small hickey. He resumed his journey downwards until he was at Cas's nipple. He quickly sucked it into his mouth once again exciting a gasp from Cas.

Still determined to get a better response he began to flick his tongue back and forth across the nipple. Slowly at first then picking up speed as the angel began to writhe against him. He continued to torture Castiel by grinding his crotch against his leg as he moved his oral assault to the other nipple. His torment didn't stop there. He let his right hand slowly trail down Castiel's chest over his firm stomach to the top of his pants. Before his exceptionally happy victim could wonder what he was going to do the undid the fasten on the pants and pushed them off as much as he could with his hand then the rest of the way with his foot. His hand immediately went to the tent in Castiel's boxers. He had never been with another man before but he knew what he enjoyed and hoped it would work the same. He sensually massaged the tent rubbing his palm on the underside finally getting the moan he had been trying so hard to get. He became frantic again abandoning his assault on Castiel's nipple to pant into his ear. "Damn Cas you're so hot," he groaned hoarsely, "look at what you're doing to me." He grabbed Castiel's hand and brought it to his jeans.

Castiel looked down at his hand curiously where it rest against the front of Dean's jeans. He had the sudden urge to squeeze his hand gently around Dean's hardness. He did so timidly not sure if he was doing it right. He was greeted by a gasp from Dean encouraging him to continue. He rubbed his hand along the length as much as he could with it being compressed in the jeans. He could feel it strain and knew it must be painful for Dean. Without second thought he unbuttoned the hunter's jeans and pushed them down like Dean had done his own. Castiel was happily surprised to find that Dean did not have on anything underneath the jeans. He once again grabbed Dean's cock and gently squeezed it in his palm. He reveled in the smoothness and the softness of it really liking the feel of it in his hand. Dean shivered against him as he continued to run his hand along his length. Seeing that he was not injuring Dean with his squeezing he began to do so harder. As he squeezed he began to move his hand up and down Dean's length. Whether it was pure instinct or something he had seen before Castiel didn't know. What he did know was that it was making Dean shake and moan with ecstasy and he liked it. He liked having this power over Dean. He liked being able to make the hunter fall to his knees with bliss. He liked it all and he decided he now wanted more.

Before even he understood what was happening he firmly pushed Dean away from him and towards one of the two beds in the room. If Dean minded having the dominate hand switch he didn't show it. Once Dean's heels touched the end of the bed Cas removed his hand from where it lay on his toned firm abs. He quickly stripped himself and the hunter of their remaining clothes. He took Dean into his arms for a quick embrace just enjoying the feel of their naked flesh against each other. Then he gave Dean one hard shove onto the bed. Dean didn't have long to be surprised by Castiel's sudden dominance before his body was covered by the angel's on the bed. Cas crushed his his lips to Dean's with a sudden hunger. He was suddenly so hungry, not for food like he was when they faced Famine, but to be close to Dean, to make him feel the pleasure he felt from being loved, to make him happy like he was now happy. He kissed Dean with this hunger; agonizingly slow, sweet, and deep. They both moaned enjoying the sensation of being together.

Castiel began moving his hips against Deans their cocks rubbing together sensually. The friction and feel of Dean's cock against his own began to drive him crazy. He didn't know how much longer he could take of this before his feelings inside burst out of him. He didn't know how to tell when they were done but he knew that he was close to whatever it was. He closed his eyes and moaned grinding his hips into Dean's faster and faster. Then it was over and he was suddenly pinned beneath Dean.

"You should never let your guard down around a hunter," Dean teased. He kissed Cas's jaw quickly then flipped him over onto his stomach. Castiel was too surprised to object not that he'd want to anyway. Dean ran his hands over the almost perfect shape of Cas's ass squeezing and clawing gently at it as he did.

"Mmmm Dean," Castiel moaned. Suddenly a sharp stinging pain came across Castiel's ass. He cried out in first pain, then pleasure.

"Hush," Dean ordered with a smile.

"But Dean," Castiel protested.

"I said Hush!" Dean said his hand coming down on his ass with a sharp smack. Castiel quieted except for the breathless whimpers as Dean continued to abuse his ass. He was enjoying it all too much to object or complain about how tender it was becoming anyway.

"I'm going to fuck you now," Dean whispered in Cas's ear finally stopping his assault. When Cas didn't object he reached into his bag beside the bed to grab the bottle of lube he kept there just in case he got lucky and needed it, and Dean Winchester always got lucky when he wanted to. He squirted some onto his finger tips and stared at Castiel's ass intently. He was going to cross a line which he had never even been close to before. He was ready though, he was ready to take that step with his angel.

He spread Cas's ass cheeks a little with his non-lubed to allow him access to his hole. He spread the lube onto Cas's hole and a little on himself. He slipped his cock in between Cas's ass cheeks getting everything nice and lubed while prolonging the suspense for the moment they were both waiting for. Finally he couldn't wait any longer. He had to have Castiel, he had to consummate his love for him, he had to have him and that was that.

"Are you ready Cas?" Dean moaned.

"Yes, oh please Dean fill me up," he moaned back lifting himself to allow Dean more access to his hole.

Dean could have said something but he no longer had words. He was purely driven by his need to fill Cas and nothing else. "Okay Cas here I come!" Dean and Castiel both screamed as Dean thrust into the angel...

 _"It was the heat of the moment, showing you what your heart meant. It was the heat of the moment shown in your eyes."_ The alarm blared loudly waking Dean.

 **Hi guys. Sorry for not having this note earlier when I first published this story. I know it seems like mostly smut but I promise you that is not what this story is entirely about. This was just Dean's dream (we all know how Dean can be). With that being said I hope you have enjoyed this chapter and I look forward to writing more for y'all. Please leave comments, let me know what you liked or didn't like or what you think I should improve on. Thanks! Have a nice and safe day.**


	2. Chapter 2: Caged Heat

**Just a fair warning this chapter is based completely off of Season 6 Episode 10 (see authors note at the bottom for more information) so there are MAJOR spoilers. Also I own nothing about Supernatural (though I wish I could own Sam, Dean, and Cas). With that being said enjoy.**

Chapter 2: Caged Heat

Dean groaned forcefully waking up from his overly pleasant dream. He wished he could say it was the first time he had dreamed about the angel but he knew the truth. He seriously needed help. If falling for a dude, an angel at that, wasn't screw up enough him dreaming about having hot gay sex with him certainly was. Ever since Lisa had dumped him his dreams of Castiel had taken on a more sexually nature making the little time the angel was earthbound that much more awkward for him.

He groaned again finally getting out of the bed not looking forward to the day. He never looked forward to any day as a hunter. It was exceptionally hard for him now with his frustrating feelings for Cas ever present and Sam without a soul. He hardly knew what to do with his life anymore. He took a quick shower deciding to try to get his mind straight before he and Sam went to give Crowley the Alpha Rugaru they had captured earlier that day. The pressure of the water was nice and Dean admitted that maybe the run down house he and Sam were squatting in for the time being wasn't too bad. He took a little longer in the shower with the intention of being late to piss Crowley off as well as to relax just a little.

He met Sam in the Impala were he was keeping watch over the Rugaru as Dean got some much needed sleep. Sam without a soul may mean he no longer slept but Dean could only stay up so many days and nights. "You ready Sam?" he asked the emotionless hunter. In exchange for capturing alpha creatures Crowley was supposed to get Sam his soul back from Lucifer's cage. For Dean that day couldn't come soon enough because one thing more frustrating than his compressed emotions was Sam without them.

"Yeah lets go."

* * *

"What are you doing?" Dean asked his brother. Not only had this day, or night judging by the dark gray-blue sky that lay outside the house that seemed to be literally falling apart. The water and power worked so it wasn't completely useless but with the time he'd had since waking up nothing could please him. Especially not his brother agreeing to help Meg capture Crowley.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"I mean, what are you doing!?" Dean asked, practically screamed. Apparently his brother's lack of emotion left him with lack of common sense as well. They had been through enough hell because of Meg and now here he was making deals with the bitch. He missed the days when they ganked a demon no questions asked, no making deals, everything less complicated. "You wanna work with a demon again?"

"We're working with demons now. I'm doing this because I want to stop." Sam explained as if that justified everything.

"She killed Ellen and Jo!" Dean said his chest aching slightly. They had died giving Dean the chance to go after Lucifer. They had died in vain because the Colt didn't work on archangels. It was something that they didn't know at the time but Dean still couldn't help the ache that came whenever he thought about his failure.

"I know. But you can't look at this emotionally, Dean." Sam explained very close to having his nose broken, "we need her."

"The hell we do! That little bitch is gonna screw us over so fast-"

"Of course. Which is why we'll screw her first. Meg and her little posse are dead the second we're done with them." He was seriously close to a broken nose, one punch from Dean away.

"Yeah, if they don't kill us."

"They won't. 'Cause we're bringing insurance." Sam assured.

"Oh yeah and what would that be?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"Cas." Dean's chest tightened again this time leaving a burning sensation on his cheeks at the mention of the angel. He was glad it was dark in the dimly lit house. That was one conversation he did not want to have with his brother soulless or not.

"Yeah good luck," he muttered turning away from Sam. He seriously doubted his brother could get the angel to help them with something as trivial as Meg. If Castiel wasn't in the middle of a civil war then there probably wouldn't be any problem. He went to keep his mind off of the entire situation letting Sam do whatever he was going to in trying to get his 'insurance' to agree to being just that. Sam walked briskly outside not saying another word to Dean. Dean just shook his head and picked up a DVD that had been lying around. He read the title on the case _Babysitter Share Pizza Boy._ If that didn't scream porno Dean didn't know what did. He set it back down at the sound of the door closing.

"That was quick," he called not bothering to turn to see his brother pouting about Castiel not answering his calls again, "you give up that fast?"

"Giving up on what?"

 _Th-dump th-dump th-dump._ Dean knew that voice. That sexy gravely bass voice. He slowly turned around to see that his brother had indeed returned but not alone.

"You actually showed. Wow, Sam, I owe you a chicken dinner. What happened?" A chicken dinner was the last thing he wanted to give his brother. This one though he couldn't blame on Sam. His brother didn't know of his feelings for their heavenly friend or how painful it was for Dean to be around him. Seeing the angel with his somewhat messy somewhat organized hair, perfectly fitted suit paired with his large trench coat, and blue eyes that seemed to hold the world in them always made Dean's heart ache. Hearing his overly masculine voice rake gravely and smooth over Dean's ears made Dean want to faint. Every affect Castiel had on Dean was strange and foreign to him because he had never felt that way before. He was so used to being in control, so used to making girls feel that way about him. Yet with Castiel it was like Dean was the girl falling head over heals for the mysterious tough guy she had the undying urge to try to break down his walls and fix the scared injured boy that he really was.

"No big. This is what friends do for each other." Sam said evasively. Dean looked at his brother- anything to keep from staring at the perfection that was Cas- suspicious but not willing to bring it up.

"What's your plan?" Dean asked Cas still trying to advert his eyes.

"I can try to perform a ritual to locate Crowley," he answered.

"Alright what do we need to get you?." Dean asked. That was what Castiel appreciated about Dean. He was willing to get anything, do anything, sacrifice anything for the sake of someone else. The hunter acted so tough but Cas could see he was actually really sweet and caring about others. It was a trait that as an angel he found admirable. At least he thought it was because he was angel. If he truly thought about it then he knew deep down while angels did find selflessness a good trait they did not appreciate it as much in one human as Cas did in Dean. He gave Dean a quick list and waited for him to get back not speaking to Sam. It didn't take very long for Dean to gather the supplies he required. He took them and got to work. Not too long after he had the first few steps completed did the spell he was working block him out.

"It's not working. Crowley's hidden from me." he regretfully informed the brothers eagerly waiting by the table he was working on. He didn't look at Dean, he didn't want to see the disappointment in the hunters light green eyes. The only reason he agreed to stay on Earth while his brothers and sisters fought in heaven was for Dean. To make Dean happy, to see his pale eyes the color of leaves on trees in the spring light up when he saw Cas, to see his confident smile light up his face when Cas did something useful. To see the opposite of this made Castiel's stomach tighten and his chest ache. He wished he understood human emotion more so he could understand the sensations he had around Dean.

"Well, looks like we're gonna have to try this the hard way." Dean sighed.

The hard way was sneaking into Samuel's compound to search for clues on the demon's location. Whether it was because they were being too loud or Samuel was already hesitant from his experience as a hunter they got caught. The old man flipped on the light to the room they were snooping through. "Can I help you? What do you want?"

"We wanna know where Crowley is." Dean replied not intimidated by his grandfather.

"If I even knew, why would I tell you?" Samuel asked quizzically.

"'Cause you're our grandfather," Dean shot back.

"Samuel, I'm gonna get my soul back," Sam said softly

"Who say you can get it back." He scoffed.

"Me," Sam said incredulously.

"Look, I'd like to help, but I'm sorry." the old man sighed.

"It's your grandson's soul," Dean exclaimed.

"I can't," Samuel repeated. The exchange continued ending with Samuel telling the boys to get out. Dean mentally kicked himself knowing it was going to be even harder to find out where Crowley was. They returned to their temporary base to try to find out what they could by themselves. Sam and Dean sat at a table by the window shuffling papers around while Cas sat on the couch facing the TV a few feet away. He had put in the first thing he saw which happened to be a DVD title _Babysitter Share Pizza Boy._ It had looked interesting on the cover although he didn't understand what half of the pictures meant. Dean and Sam didn't say anything as he put it in so he figured it was okay to watch while they researched.

As the figures moved across the screen making noises that were strange to him he stared. He was fixated on what the pizza boy was doing to the female who was for some reason in charge of watching over small children. He couldn't understand why they were naked and abusing each other. It made him think of Dean in a way that was foreign to him. He didn't understand why his slacks were becoming tighter around his crotch or why his skin was hot. He wanted to ask Dean but felt like disturbing him might not be wise.

"It's very complex." he commented testing if it'd be okay to bother Dean.

"Mm-hmm," he grunted in response not really paying attention.

"If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear?" he questioned hoping it would be explained to him, "perhaps she has done something wrong."

Dean set down his papers slowly suddenly realizing what Castiel was watching. "Your watching porn? Why?" He would never admit it to the angel but he thought it was hot that he was.

"It was there," Castiel said. He began to worry that he was not supposed to have watched the video or that he had made Dean angry with him.

"You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes," Dean began explaining ' _even if it is really hot,'_ he thought to himself, "and you don't talk about it. Just turn it off." Castiel looked down in his lap as he heard Dean's last thought. He felt his length harden against his leg though he didn't understand what it was or why it had suddenly happened. "Well, now he's got a boner," Dean sighed to Sam. Castiel suddenly understood that this must be what had happened in his lap. He still didn't know why it had. He didn't listen to Dean's instruction to turn off the video. Instead he kept watching hoping to understand the tingling sensation he was now experiencing.

A knock on the door distracted Dean from nagging the angel again about the time and place to watch porn. Though he honestly didn't care that Castiel was watching porn it took all his strength to keep from pushing him down onto the couch and showing him a thing or two that no pizza boy and babysitter ever could. He opened the door to reveal his grandfather standing there.

"This what you boys do, sit around watching pornos with angels?" Samuel scoffed.

"We're not supposed to talk about it," Cas informed the older man as if porn was as new to Samuel as it was to himself.

"Why are you here, Samuel?" Dean asked exasperated. He had too much going on already without having to worry about Samuel now too.

"It's what Mary would want," the old man said tenderly, "now here's what I know."

* * *

That was how they ended up waiting outside their base waiting for Meg and her posse. Upon their immediate arrival Meg recognized Castiel. "Remember me? I sure remember you, Clarence." she laughed maliciously.

Castiel ignored her preferring not to recall how they knew each other. "Why are we working with these abominations?" he asked Dean.

"Keep talking dirty. Makes my meat suit all dewy," Meg taunted the angel.

"Alright, simmer down," Dean instructed the demon, "we know where Crowley is."

"Great. Do tell," Meg smiled.

"Yeah, tell you, so you can just leave us for dead," Sam scoffed. He really just wanted the chance to kill her before she could return the favor.

"You boys have serious abandonment issues, you know that?" Meg mocked.

"We leave in one hour," Sam instructed leaving the issue at that to go pack.

An hour and a half later they stood outside Crowley's prison.

"Seems pretty quiet," Dean noted.

"It's not, I can feel it. Meet me at the side door," Castiel instructed. The last thing he wanted was the hunter to get hurt. He was taking every precaution he could to preserve the hunters life.

They were all soon inside, way too easily to Dean's instincts. They heard a djinn call for help as they walked through cell lined hallway. It all still seemed to easy for him, mentioning something to Sam his brother agreed. They kept moving not wanting to get caught from behind. That was until they heard barking in the distance. "Damn it. Here come the guards," Meg cussed.

"Hellhounds. Go! Dean yelled. They all ran for the nearest set of doors, Dean perhaps ran the fastest knowing how the pierce of the hounds teeth burned the skin it touched as they tore you to pieces. Only the boys and Meg made it to the room, Meg's posse getting torn to pieces by the hounds on the other side of the door. Sam put a line of salt along the bottom of the door. "Alright, that should keep them out."

"Not for long," Dean informed, "how many of them are there?"

"Lots. I'll be pulling for you... from Cleveland." Meg informed the boys.

"What?!" Dean demanded. Meg tries to vacate her host body but something keeps her from doing so.

"A spell, I think, from Crowley. Within these walls you're locked inside your body." Castiel informed the demon.

"Karma's a bitch, bitch." Dean laughed feeling strangely justified. That was until Sam handed Meg the only weapon they had that could kill a demon.

"You can see them. Take this. Hold them off. It's our best shot." He explained to both Dean and Meg.

"You kill the smarmy dick. I'll hold off the dogs," she agreed.

"How you gonna do that?" Dean retorted. She didn't say anything instead grabbing Castiel by the neck and planted her mouth on his. Though she also reach for his angel sword Dean only saw her lips on the angel's, on _his_ angel's. Something inside him squeezed him heart and left a horrible taste in his mouth. It only got worse when Castiel pushed her up against the wall returning the kiss with interest. Meg was clearly enjoying the angel's kiss making Dean wonder where the angel had learned that from.

"What was that?" she asked finally pulling away.

"I learned that from the pizza man," Cas explained.

"Well, A plus for you. I feel so... clean." she responded. The boys take off away from the door as she prepared to fight. Dean didn't have time to ask Cas about his kiss with the demon before they were surrounded by a bright white light.

"Cas?!" Dean panicked. He and Sam looked around to find Samuel lifting his hand off a sigil. "You sold us out?" Dean exclaimed as two demons grabbed he and Sam from behind. The old man just looked off a little regretfully as they were hauled off to cages in the hall. He visited Dean later trying to explain himself to the hunter. "I'll make it out of here, trust me." Dean threatened the old man, "and the next time you see me, I'll be there to kill you." With that Samuel moves aside while two demons drag Dean out of his cell. They dragged him down the corridor and threw him in a room full of blood, guts, and two ghouls.

"Look breakfast," one of the ghouls smile licking it's lips.

"Frickin' hate ghouls!" Dean muttered preparing to fight them. Sam soon joined Dean having broke free of his guards. He ripped a metal bar off the wall and stakes the ghouls making quick work of them. They soon leave the room to go find Meg. The briskly walked down the corridor until they found they room she was being tortured in. She began laughing as she saw Dean silently walk behind the demon torturing her.

"What are you laughing at?" the demon asked. Demon grabbed the knife the demon held while his guard was down quickly stabbing him in the back.

"We should go," Sam said. Dean nodded, untied Meg, and they got their turkey asses out before something tried to make them dinner again.

Later that day outside the prison Dean thanked Cas for saving their asses from Crowley. What he didn't understand was he didn't need to thank him. Castiel would always be there for Dean, he would always do whatever was in his ability to protect his hunter. Dean was mumbling on something about if there was anything he and Sam could do to help with Castiel's losing battle in heaven to let him know. Cas cut him off, "There isn't. I wish circumstances were different. Much of the time I'd rather be here," ' _with you,'_ he added in his head.

"Look, Cas, we know you got a steaming pile on your plate. There's no need for apologies. We're your friends," Dean assured him ' _even if we want to be more.'_

"I understand," Castiel said disappearing in an instant only the sound of his wings flapping left behind. Dean thought he saw a tear in the angel's eye before he had flown away, though he couldn't imagine why the angel would be crying. Maybe his losing to Raphael was hitting him a little harder than he let on? Dean made a note to find out from Castiel the next time he got to see him. It still bothered him though. If something was wrong with the angel he wanted to know because when everything was said and done Castiel was what mattered most to him. He could only hope that he would be able to tell the angel that someday.

 **Hi! If you're here then that means you have read this chapter (or read my top note and skipped through it) and have had the dedication to find out that I meant what I said about this story not being a lot of smut. If you have seen this episode of Supernatural then you know it is set directly in that time line. I did that because I wanted Castiel's and Dean's reactions to the Pizza Man to be a prominent part of this chapter and what better way than to base the chapter off the episode and put it right smack dab in the middle. Also I want you guys to understand that for me as the writer (and fan) the feelings between Cas and Dean are happening while everything else is going on as well. My complete intentions are to make it almost seem like the pairing is Canon at least for a couple chapters. However, do not fret young ones because I will make Dean and Cas get together eventually among other things. For now have a nice day and don't play with fire.**


	3. Chapter 3: What is Love

Chapter 3: What is Love

"Sam I require your assistance," Castiel declared to the younger Winchester brother. They were sitting in the Impala waiting for Dean to come back. He had gone inside the diner to order food for them leaving Sam and Cas alone. Castiel had been pondering his question for a long time. Ever since the failed mission to capture Crowley had ended. Ever since Dean had stated that he was Castiel's friend and his actual thoughts had been projected into Castiel's mind. It was one of the trickier parts of being an angel, reading minds of those close to them. He had always been able to do it with Dean though not all the time. He didn't like invading the hunter's mind especially since he had never told hm about this particular angelic power but sometimes thoughts screamed at Cas. That kind of thing happened when the thoughts were about the person they were being projected to. The last few times Dean's thoughts had been heard by Cas left him feeling very confused about several things. Most of them being what exactly Dean meant by the thoughts.

"Yeah what is it? Sam asked curious to what the angel would possibly need his assistance for. Since his soul had been restored he was left with no memory about what happened when he was without one making him virtually useless when it came to helping aside from killing things.

"Why would someone want to be more than friends with someone else?" Cas asked. The last thought he had heard from Dean was right after Dean had told him that he was his friend. His mind spoke the truth and revealed that Dean wanted to be more than friends. It had confused Castiel like most things Dean said did. This time though Castiel felt he needed to inquire about its meaning with someone other than Dean.

"Well," Sam stammered not seeing that coming, "it would probably be because they love the other person." He didn't know much about how angel's felt but he was thinking Cas had a crush on someone. It made him wonder even more what he had missed while being soulless.

"What is love?" Castiel asked even more curious now. He knew of the love he had for his brothers, his father, and His creations but he did not understand what love was for humans.

"Its, um, well its hard to explain," Sam stuttered awkwardly. How does one explain love to an angel?

"Try," Cas ordered.

"Its when two people, a man and a woman for example, have really deep feelings for each other that go beyond friendship. They want to be around each other often, and constantly think of the other person when they're apart. They would sacrifice anything for each other, do anything for each other, and want nothing more that to make sure the other person is happy and safe even if it means making themselves sad." Sam said trying to explain it in the least complicated way.

"Can this 'love' not be felt by two men?" Castiel asked. He was disappointed at the thought. If Dean wanted to be more than friends with Castiel then that must mean he loved him as Sam had explained. Yet if love could not be felt by two men then he was even more at a loss. More-so than that Castiel felt that what Sam had described explained the confusing sensations he had for Dean.

"I suppose it could yes," Sam said now really curious as to what he missed. Had his brother finally confessed his feelings to the angel? Dean had never said anything to him but Sam knew that his brother was in love with the angel. It was obvious in the way he stared at Castiel - or tried to make it look like he wasn't staring – or in the way Dean did everything he could to make sure the angel was safe whenever they went out on missions. It was obvious that Dean worried more about Castiel than he could ever worry about Sam. It didn't bother Sam, he was happy that his brother had found someone else to worry over. He was happy that with everything that had been going on for them that Dean had still been able to find someone to love.

"How does one tell someone else that they 'love' them?" Cas asked paying exceptionally close attention to Sam.

"Well they could try flirting," Sam started, "or they could go for a more direct approach and tell them outright. Either one could lead you to rejection but flirting is an easier way to see if someone returns your feelings."

"Rejection?"

"When the other person doesn't return your feelings."

"Oh. That sounds unpleasant," Cas said. He mulled the information over in his head. He wondered what the best course of action would be to take with Dean. He knew the hunter had some kind of feelings for him but he wasn't certain it was love. He didn't want to be what Sam had called rejection. "How does one 'flirt'?"

"Well little ways, I guess," Sam started, "being really nice to them like compliment them a lot , making jokes that lean more towards a sexual nature if you think they'd be okay with that, make eye contact with them, wink at them, brush their face or arm every so often as if you were trying to remove something the had on them, then when you feel the time is right ask them on a date."

"And this is successful?" Cas inquired.

"Depends on the people but it tends to work the best."

"Thank you Sam you have been very helpful," Cas said pleased. His plan was already formulating in his head he just needed to put it into action. Dean returned then eliminating the chance to ask anymore questions.

"You girls miss me?" Dean joked climbing into the driver's seat of the Impala.

"Very much so," Castiel replied testing his new found knowledge of flirting.

"Nice joke, Cas," Dean laughed. His heart pumped in his chest hard with the desire to ask the angel if he was being serious. He hoped with everything he had that Castiel was.

"It was not a joke Dean," Castiel informed from the passenger seat. He looked Dean in the eye, blue locked in green suspended for a moment lost to all that surrounded them. "I am always saddened by your absence."

"No chick flick moments, Cas," Dean joked. He didn't know how to respond to the angel's confession. He was happy that the angel missed him but confused at the same time. Did he just miss him because they were friends and he hated being upstairs fighting a losing battle? Or did his feelings for Dean go deeper? It left his head spinning in circles trying to figure it out.

"I don't understand what you mean." Castiel said. He was hurt that Dean wasn't taking his flirting seriously. Perhaps he was doing it wrong and just didn't know. All he knew was he wanted Dean to understand that he had deeper feelings than friendship for him. He wanted to know if Dean had these deep feelings as well or if he meant something different than his thoughts suggested. He could take a peek inside the hunter's mind to see but he felt that was wrong. He wanted Dean to tell him of his own feelings not figure it out by force. It seemed wrong to the angel.

"I was joking never mind," Dean evaded, "let's get going." Neither one said anything more as they drove off into the day letting the unsaid feelings suspend between them.

 **Short I know but simple and to the point. This is really just a filler chapter to continue the story along. I do however think that we can all tell what Castiel is going to do. Or maybe he won't. Who knows? I DO because I am the writer. Sadly for y'all you will have to read and find out ^-^**

 **As always leave me the reviews and let me know what you think and have an AWESOME day!**


	4. Chapter 4: Angel Wings

Chapter 4: Angel Wings

Ever since Castiel had confessed he always missed Dean when they were apart the time he spent on Earth was extremely awkward for Dean. Especially since Cas kept doing or saying weird things. He complimented Dean a lot, winked at him for no reason, and was always touching him. He had to remind him more than once about personal space. If Dean didn't know any better he would say that the angel was trying to flirt with him. What made it worse was that with every touch Dean jumped, with every compliment Dean blushed, with every random gesture Dean's heart throbbed and he had no idea what to do about it. Perhaps if he were better at expressing his feelings like Sam was then maybe it wouldn't be so hard to understand what to do. But he wasn't his brother and even though he knew how he felt about Castiel he would never admit it to the angel.

Sam wouldn't reveal anything about the conversation he and Cas had had while he was gone in the diner. It frustrated Dean because he was dying to know what the angel would go to Sam and not him about when he usually came to Dean about everything. He even admitted to Sam that he and Dean shared a 'more profound bond.' So why would Castiel go to Sam and not him? Dean didn't know why Cas went to Sam, he didn't know why Cas may or may not be trying to flirt with him, and he didn't know how to make his feelings known to the angel.

It happened randomly one day when Dean was least expecting it. It had started out a normal day, as normal as any day that involved hunting a vengeful spirit was. The case was a pretty easy one, solved before they could get dinner, a very late dinner but dinner nonetheless. So Dean, Sam, and Castiel were in the Impala heading to the closest diner to try to satisfy Dean's ever empty stomach. As they drove down the dark gray asphalt paved highway darkened by the blue-black night sky Cas's hand lay resting on the console of the Impala, almost touching Dean's blue jean clad leg. It made Dean's skin tingle with electricity and suspense. He wanted nothing more than to take the angel's hand in his own. But he didn't, instead he pulled into the first diner he saw not caring what they seemed to serve to distance himself from the angel.

"I'll run in and get the food what do you guys want?" he asked already knowing the answer.

"A seared chicken salad and water for me," Sam replied.

"I don't require anything," Cas said matter-of-factually, since angel's didn't require human food he rarely ate though sometimes Dean made him try things just to see what his reactions were.

"Nothing for the filter feeding angel and rabbit food for Sammy, got it," Dean replied a little heavier on the sarcasm than usual due to his tension from Castiel's almost touch. Sam raised an eyebrow while Castiel looked on unaware that anything was really amiss. Dean left before Sam could begin probing him for information on his behavior. He didn't want to have to spend time dodging his brother's advances in trying to get him to reveal his feelings and he certainly didn't want to have that battle with Castiel, the source of the problem, sitting right there.

He wasn't gone long about twenty or so minutes but as he walked back to Baby he saw Cas's head swaying back and forth rhythmically while his lips moved. Dean couldn't make out what he was saying but he figured the angel was listening to music. It made perfect sense since Dean had left the keys in the ignition and Sam was there to explain how to operate the radio. Dean smiled because honestly the sight of Castiel enjoying some rock song was adorable. As Dean opened the door to the Impala miraculously not spilling anything he realized it was not one Dean's old rock songs that the angel was listening to.

 _"I love yoooouuuuu. I have loved you all along. And I miss yoooouuuuu. Been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore,"_ Castiel's low gravely bass voice sang along with the baritone's pouring through the radio. Dean realized faintly that this was a band he had heard of once but decided he didn't like them because they weren't real rock. If it had been anyone else he would've demanded the song be changed immediately. However, it was Castiel and he just looked so frickin' adorable and happy singing the wannabe rock song that Dean didn't have the heart to tell him to stop.

Sam however did. "You're not going to make him change it?" he asked incredulously. Dean was never open to listening to anything other than the old rock cassettes that had been passed down from their father. Dean ignored his little brother instead giving him his salad. He started the Impala and pulled away from the twenty four diner tearing into his bacon cheeseburger with extra onion as he did. "Why aren't you making him change it," Sam nagged grating Dean's nerves with his whining as they drove down the highway towards a nearby motel. "Man you never let me pick the music. No its always 'driver picks the music,'" Sam muttered, "why won't you let me pick music?"

"Because I'm not in love with you!" Dean barked realizing too late what he had said. His cheeks burned crimson with a heat he could feel in his toes. Sam smiled widely like he had won some kind of prize from Dean's outburst. Castiel - Dean was almost too scared to look at Castiel. When he finally did turn his head towards the angel he was greeted by the most intense blue stare he had ever experienced. Castiel had the goofy smile Dean loved so much on his face as his blue blue eyes shone bright with more happiness Dean had ever seen before. Dean's breath caught as he stared, he forgot about everything for a brief instant losing himself in the angel's eyes. He jerked causing the Impala to swerve and remembered not only was he eating he was also driving. He turned his gaze back towards the road before he caused an accident. He was thankful that there was only a couple more minutes before they would be at the motel not knowing how long he could drive in the condition he was in. He wrapped up the burger with one hand and placed it back in the bag with his uneaten fries suddenly full.

The rest of the short drive was spent in awkward silence for Dean. He was all too happy to pull into the motel parking lot and use the excuse of having to check in to get away from his question happy brother. Sam wasn't letting him off that easy much to Dean's disappointment. He insisted on going with his older brother leaving Castiel to watch the Impala.

"I knew it," Sam happily exclaimed.

"Sam can you shut up I don't want to talk about it," Dean sighed heavily.

"You don't need to be ashamed," Sam reassured Dean, "you're my brother and I could care less what your sexual preference is."

"What?! No its not even about that," Dean exclaimed irritably.

"Then what is it about?"

"Its about checking into this damn motel so I can get some frickin sleep," Dean said opening the door to the office. Sam let it go for the time being though Dean knew he would bring it up again as soon as they were outside.

"Hello, how may I help you?" the woman's overly friendly voice called from behind the desk opposite the door. She was really pretty with a short red bob, minimal makeup, moderately sized curves, and blue eyes. Her blue eyes reminded Dean of the color Castiel's had been only a couple minutes ago. The color of the sky mating with the ocean on a clear summer's day, a color that made Dean's heart melt when he looked at them.

Dean sighed turning his thoughts from the beautiful angel. "We'd like to rent a room for the night," Dean replied with a forced smile. Even though he was in a really bad mood he didn't want to be rude to the lady.

"Two rooms specifically," Sam said earning a glare from Dean as the woman typed in the computer checking their availability.

"Okay we have two rooms available each with a single queen bed is that okay?" she asked pleasantly. For someone who was up at 11 o'clock checking in two random men with obvious issues between them she sure was friendly Dean noted.

"Yes that's perfect," Sam replied smoothly sliding the lady a Visa card with the name Johnathan C. Ena typed in raised letters on it. She typed the information into the computer and handed them two sets of keys with room numbers painted on the plastic attached.

"Enjoy your stay," she said with an overly pleasant bright smile. Dean didn't say anything as they walked out instead waiting until they were outside to confront his brother.

"Man what the hell?!"

"I figured you and Cas would need your own room tonight," Sam said smiling sheepishly.

"Why would we, you know what it doesn't even matter," Dean retorted, "because you're an idiot."

"Why is Sam lacking intelligence?" Castiel asked catching the tail end of their argument.

"I'm not," Sam said, "Dean's just being an ass."

"Oh, I see," he said shaking his head once. He really didn't but figured it'd be futile to ask for clarification.

"Whatever lets just go to our rooms," Dean muttered.

"A little eager there Dean?" Sam joked. Castiel raised his eyebrow but didn't ask.

"I'm just tired," he said defensively.

"Alright then I'll see you in the morning," Sam said grabbing his bag from Baby. Dean didn't say anything as he grabbed his and tossed Sam one of the room keys. He didn't talk to Castiel as they trudged to the room. Castiel didn't say anything either though the way he practically bounced with each step and held his mouth tightly closed said he wanted to. He didn't question why Sam went towards a different room than he and Dean were going to but he figured that was why Dean practically stomped across the pavement to the room.

When they reached the green wooden door with the numbers 394 painted in gold metallic Dean took a calming breath. He knew he was going to have to talk to Cas about what he said in the Impala but he didn't know if he was mentally ready for that. He hesitated putting the key in the lock. His hands shook and his breath came out ragged, he wasn't ready. How could he tell someone as perfect to him as Castiel was that he, Dean Winchester the righteous man that fell after thirty years in hell and started the breaking of seals that let Lucifer out of his cage, loved him. He was Castiel angel of the Lord. He was amazing. He always tried so hard to give Dean what he wanted even if it meant something bad for him, he had risked his life for Dean so many times. For Dean he had rebelled against heaven and lost all of his mojo and he didn't stop there, no he still found a way to get to him and Sam and get Pestilence's ring as well as stop Michael from not giving Dean the chance to try to get to Sam when he was being possessed by Lucifer. Hell, it was because of Castiel that he was even alive today. Castiel was the one who 'gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.' He was the one who fought through Hell, even after all his brothers had given up, to get to the dark twisted broken soul that had become Dean. He believed in Dean no matter how much he screwed up and Dean didn't know how he could possibly offer Cas anything even remotely close to that.

"Is there something wrong with the door?" Castiel asked wondering why Dean was taking so long to open it.

"Uh no, sorry spaced out for a minute," Dean replied finally opening the door. He stepped inside and threw his bag onto the bed, the single queen bed he was going to beat Sam for later. Castiel followed closely behind the hunter closing the door behind him with a quick sweep of his wings. Though not visible to anyone his wings were always present, always doing things that the Winchesters never noticed. Dean didn't pay any attention to the door closing. His mind was occupied with how to address the situation with the angel.

"Why were you 'spaced out'? Castiel asked curiously. He could tell something was on Dean's mind and he was well aware of the awkwardness that had been between them since Dean's outburst in the Impala. He was so happy to hear that the hunter he adored so returned his feelings. He couldn't understand why Dean was so upset about it. They needed to talk about it, he knew that, but he was at just as much loss for words as the hunter was. He hoped that bringing what was on the hunter's mind up would start the conversation that hung suspended in the thick air between them.

"Honestly," Dean started, "you." He took a step closer to the already close angel. He was face to face with him only a hair's breath away staring intently into his eyes. He was gaining his smooth confidence that made him popular with women back. He smiled mischievously at the unaware angel who was now losing his breath with nervousness.

He was caught in a sea of green, of beautiful mint green that were Dean Winchester's eyes. His breath was catching in his throat as he stared, his heart beat erratically in his chest. He knew Dean was the reason for these things going on, he knew he head over heels for the hunter, and he knew something big was about to change in the fragile relationship they now held he only hoped it was for the better. "What about me," he whispered his voice even lower and more gravely than usual.

"Doing this," Dean said cheekily right before he closed the little distance between their mouths. The kiss was quick but the best kiss Dean had ever had. It wasn't mind blowing, the earth didn't shake around them but it was everything a great kiss should be; soft, sweet, warm, and comfortable. He pulled his mouth away from Cas reluctantly and rested his forehead against the breathless angel's. Even though he had gained enough confidence to kiss the angel he was still extremely nervous especially as he waited for Castiel to say something.

"That was much better than Meg," Cas complimented the hunter with a breathy laugh. He sighed liking the feel of Dean's body resting against his own. He unfurled his wings and wrapped them around the hunter as he placed his hand against his heart feeling Dean's heart beat. He could have stayed there forever holding Dean and feeling his heartbeat and he could have been happy doing so.

"Dude your arms are long," Dean murmured his eyes opening to see that Castiel didn't have his arms wrapped around him. Instead of two coat-clad arms he saw something dark and feathery extending from Castiel. "Um Cas, what are those?!" he exclaimed. He backed away from Cas to get a better look at the two black and gray wings protruding from the angel's back. He knew that since Castiel was an angel he obviously had wings but he had never seen them before. They were beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful things Dean had ever seen aside from Castiel's eyes. They faded from color to color. The inky black of his hair at the base fading down into the color of the water on a later winter's night going down into the light gray of fog that hung suspended in the air on a cloudy morning and finally underneath all the dark colors laying at the very bottom almost not visible were feathers the color of the sky on a perfect spring day spotted with the pure white of the clouds on such a day.

"Dean what is wrong?" Cas asked concerned.

"I can see your wings," Dean said awe inspired by their beauty, "why can I see your wings all of a sudden?"

"I was afraid this was going to happen," Cas muttered to himself. "It seems some of my Grace has connected with your soul when you kissed me and now you can see its physical manifestation," he explained, "how much connected I don't know, it should be relatively harmless to you for the time being but it raises, um complications."

"What kind of complications?" Dean asked now very concerned. Castiel didn't answer instead he began pacing back and forth across the length of the room. "Cas?!" Dean barked, "what kind of complications?"

"It means I have to complete the bond or it could be very disastrous for us both."

 **Oh no! Dean can now see Castiel's very beautiful wings but at what price? And will Dean be able to tell the angel he love's him and complete the bond? Or will everything go wrong from here? Who knows? Oh yeah I do :) Well I hoped you have a nice day and go read some of the Destiel fanfics that have inspired me to write my own. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! and have a nice day :3**


	5. End Note

**So I am somewhat disappointed to say that I will no longer be continuing this story. It went in a direction entirely different that what I planned. I will however keep this story in the archives for those of you who have enjoyed it. Fear not though because I will be rewriting my Destiel fanfic soon. Carry on my wayward fans and read my other stories.**


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